violette

violette
Heart's ease - an infusion was said to help mend a broken heart

Sunday, 17 April 2011

In the beginning... or why

When I was a little girl I used to write short stories, which I also illustrated with my own drawings. My fertile imagination and observation of life were supplemented by the hundreds of books I would read in the course of a year, which gave me untold ideas for new plotlines. I even wrote the odd poem - ones that rhymed and scanned, of course, as that was the only sort of poetry I knew.

As I grew older, I channelled all this creativity into keeping a diary. Words and emotions poured from my pen as I recorded my teenage angsts, frustrations and pleasures. Since then I have sporadically kept a journal; but even when I don't journal I still find myself thinking in words, distinctly describing what I see and how I feel.  Many unwritten reflections have swirled around my head, sometimes coming out in conversation, sometimes not.

I love words. I love their sounds and feel, but more than that, I love their origins and lost or hidden meanings, their versatility, the way I can play with them, their ability to surprise me. I love to compare them with their counterparts in other languages, to dismember them and then rebuild them anew, with fresh eyes and understanding.

That alone is a good reason for blogging. But there is another reason too.

My profile says I am a religious sister: but what it doesn't say, explicitly, is that I love being a sister. It is a way of life which gives me life, which challenges and fulfils in equal measure, and frees me to love and grow in loving. Crucially, it gives me that "more" of God for which I longed all those years ago, and the pursuit of which brought me to the Society. Belonging to God is scary, tough and risky, bringing tears and renunciation; but it also gives deep, untold joy, and - true to Jesus's promise - yields an abundantly rich, indescribably varied hundredfold.

This is who, what and how I am, and what I want to share with others. So in this blog I hope to bring together my different loves - of words, photography, creativity - and place them at the service of my central love, the Love that will not let me go.


This is my first-ever post on my first-ever blog. I've illustrated it with one of my own photos - as I hope to do with all future posts. Meanwhile, I have no idea what to expect, and only the vaguest idea of how to find out if any comments have been made (I may have to phone a friend!) So, please be patient with me; appropriate comments will get posted... eventually...

11 comments:

  1. Oh goodie! I love RSCJ blogs! I look forward to reading your thoughts...maybe it will inspire me to keep going on my own blog! Blessings to you, Silvana!

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  2. Hi Silvana,
    Thanks for sharing your blog. I too love words and keep a prayer journal. When I was a little girl, I devoured books and lost myself in the imaginary worlds. I still enjoy books now and it's one of my greatest joys; to go out and buy a book to read. I feel quite bereft when I come to the end and suddenly there's no more story left... Not good.
    I love the fact that you love being a sister; that speaks volumes. If more people read this blog they too might be inspired. I read something today in the weekly bulletin in my Parish about a young man who was an engineer and then he heard a radio broadcast about how religious orders were struggling for vocations. It made him think, for the first time that maybe God might be calling him. Just goes to show that one word can light the flame in someone's heart. Thank you,
    Karen

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  3. Alright! You have a blog! And, I have to say, it is impressive and very cool. Reading your thoughts quite brought a tear to my eye. I am excited and looking forward to all your wonderful thoughts and posts. Congratulations blogging Sister :) Here's you you, your thoughts and bringing the Heart of Christ to the world. Enjoy every minute of it. :)

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  4. My first comment was transatlantic - wow! I've been reading your blog, Juliet, and it was one of the ones that inspired me to start this - so now we'll have to keep each other going.

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  5. Thanks Anon and Cloister, for your support and encouragement

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  6. hi am here and saved you under my favourite blog good luck

    Love
    anne the nutter off facebook haahaha

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  7. Thanks LNONAF - and have a lovely Easter retreat

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  8. Yay, Silvana! Will be looking forward to reading more! xx

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  9. Thanks Irim - yet another Oxford blogger hits the web!

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  10. Something I wanted to share with you. After the 3 0'clock service as I gazed upon the figure of Jesus on the cross I began reflecting on sacrifice, the importance of it and what it means for me. Here is what I came up with: (My coversation with Jesus)

    I saw you Lord hanging on the cross and thought upon your sacrifice. Then I thought that you did it as a free offering out of love and that if love is put in to the sacrifice, the true motive (if the love is stronger than the sacrifice) then it becomes no longer a sacrifice, but a free offering. An offering freely given out of free unconditional love, out of obedience. Obedience which is not submission, but an act of one's own free will because they truly know how to love and 'that' love is the greatest thing. So when we are offering ourselves, any part of ourselves to you, yes it may require some painful sacrifice, but since an act of pure love inspired it in the first place it is really an offering or a gift. A gift of one's self to you done in love. Love is the greatest thing, not the sacrifice. Thank you my Lord, for a heart that loves you and desires only one thing - to give all of myself to you and to invite you to live and be the very centre and core of my life and being. I desire only to carry you wherever I go that others may knowing or unknowingly have an experience of your love and mercy.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this. Our conversations today about love, gift and sacrifice have provided food for a thought for me too. I'm in the middle of writing something... hopefully to be posted before the end of Good Friday

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