Beloved joy

 

One of the greatest blessings of my life was an overwhelming experience of God's unconditional, unlimited love for me, back in 1990. It was a defining, pivotal moment in my journey back into God's embrace, just as it has continued to define me, and my vocation ever since. A few years later, when I did the Spiritual Exercises during my noviciate, I could recognise something of how I had felt then in the graced cry of wonder at the end of the First Week, when I knew myself to be a loved sinner. That was me in 1990: and despite all my wandering, and all I had been and done, God so generously welcomed me back with this unmistakeable, wondrous assurance of his abundant love. 

And within this unshakeable certainty was an inseparably twin call: to love back, and to love widely, by becoming a living, joyful proof of this love. Over the years this call, pondered on and prayed over, and inextricably interwoven with the Society's mission of love, has taken me to a variety of settings and ministries, revealing itself and its possibilities in different ways... And now, thirty-six years on, I'm living it as part of a lovely, lively parish which has recently installed a rather lovely mosaic in the porch - now a very popular place for individual and group photos. 

You are my beloved... Words spoken over Jesus at his baptism, and spoken over each one of us... Words which remind us of the Love which fashioned us into being with tenderness and care, and gave us our innate dignity... and of the dignity and call conferred on us by our baptism. Words and an unmeasured love which call forth a lavish response: love for love, heart for heart, as St Madeleine Sophie once encouraged. Words spoken; love poured out, over me and you; assuring us that we are so highly precious to the God who delights in and cherishes us, however unlovable, un-delightful or unworthy we might feel. 

And words spoken, love poured out equally over everyone, including the unlovable, and the people we dislike, or find irritating, or whose opinions, actions and attitudes we abhor. If I remember to pause and look up as I enter the church, I am reminded to pray for them, as much as for those who struggle to even know what being loved can mean.

It is indeed a joy and a blessing to know that these words are spoken, and this love is poured out over me - but it is not a joy I can hug tightly to myself. To do that would not be true to my call, or to the generosity of this bountiful love. So, dear reader: whoever you are; however messy or pristine your life, fervent or lukewarm your discipleship, please know that you are loved without measure, and that God looks on you, delights in you, and says to your heart You are my beloved...