For his love endures forever

A few days ago I marked a double anniversary. The 16th September is a significant date in my story - twice over. Thirty-five years ago, a door closed in my face; painfully, unexpectedly and brutally, bringing hopes and dreams crashing down. And then, amazingly, two years later to the day, another door opened; a door which was to lead me into the Society, and into the depths of Jesus' Heart. Thirty-three years ago something as mundane as a date was transformed and redeemed in my life, along with a host of memories and emotions, and new hopes and dreams... And thirty-three years on, it is so much more than a date which has been, and continues to be, transformed and redeemed.

Inevitably, as I prayed that morning, memories bubbled up, especially of my pain and confusion at the sudden closure of that first door. I tried to dispel them, but stll they came... And then, softly, whispered words from Isaiah floated in Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old... Ah yes; and a verse which goes on to promise I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not see it? I will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert... (43: 18-19)

A promise I can see, have seen, being fulfilled...

But there was one memory I wanted to hold on to. Because in the midst of all that pain on that day in 1991, the liturgy directed one message to me: O give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his love endures forever... (Psalm 136). I had read these words through clenched teeth; I knew they were true, but they felt unbearably so. How could I know, in my devastation and disenchantment, that everything would eventually work out beautifully, gloriously, into a lifelong proclamation of God's goodness, and his everlasting love? That two years later, I would begin a new journey into that boundless love, and into the call for which God had created me? A journey and a mission, and an endless joy, to discover and make known the unmeasured love of his Heart - and the unlimited possibilities for grace, and for redemption.